How did it really happen?

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the awards for 2008's dumbest man. We'll get to the perfomance by Crosby, Stills, and Nash featuring Vanilla Ice in a second but first the award. And the winner is...New York Giants receiver Plaxico Burress! He shot himself in the leg...really he did. Now i've heard several stories about how he did it. I heard the gun fell, hit the ground and then shot him. I also heard that the gun was sliding down his pants, he reached to grab it, and shot himself in the leg. But i have some of my own theories, some of them may be far fetched, but if you don't mind, i'd like to share some of them with you:

1) Maybe he actually was at an Applebee's like he told the doctors at the hospital. Maybe he was taking his grandmother out to a fancy dinner. He was having such a good time that he forgot about the gun that was lodged in his waistband. And when the waiters and waitresses finished singing happy birthday to his nana, all hell broke loose. He reached into his pants to pull out his wallet to give them a hefty tip and he pulled the trigger. That's my first idea.

2) Maybe he was watching highlights of himself on Sportscenter, wondering why he wasn't on the top ten (again), and he fell asleep. I'm talking passed out. You know how it is, that show repeats the same stuff every hour, it gets old. You can't stay awake for too much of it. So you know, his eyelids got a touch heavy and he dozed off. Right in the middle of a good dream, his kitten came up to him and started crawling around on him. I think you know what happened next, one wrong step, and boom.

3) Midget pirates, need i say more?

So those are my ideas. Who knows, maybe they could be right. With the hi-jinks these people are getting into anything is possible. And now, Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Ice.