Marvin Harrison. He’s a staple in the Indianapolis Colts franchise, he holds a ton of receiving records, and he’s been to 8 Pro Bowls. But his next job might be playing for a prison team. That’s because Marvin Harrison is being sued for shooting a man back in April. Apparently, according to the victim, Marvin shot him and then one of his friends shot him again. That’s convenient because Marvin’s story is that one of his friends took the gun and shot the man. So it’s just a crazy coincidence that the victim’s story covers up both sides that Harrison could take. I’m not trying to take sides but that seems a strange to me.
But what I really want to know is how did Marvin Harrison do this? This man is a carbon copy of Ken Griffey Jr. from that one Simpsons episode. He doesn’t look like he would do anything like this. And even if he would, don’t jump into the game with attempted murder, Marvin. You gotta start off slow, with tax evasion or some bull crap like that. There are clear steps that crazy football players take. You might have mad ups, but you can’t jump up that many steps.
Is there a dark side to Marvin Harrison that we don’t know about? Is that quiet, record setting receiver leading a double life? The Associated Press says that the incident occurred near a bar that Harrison owns. Alcoholic?
Marvin when did you make this change to the dark side? Did you make the change when the Colts brought in all these young gun receivers that make you look like the old lady from Mama’s Family on the field? Or did you make it when you realized that you suck now? Or maybe you were always like this. Maybe this is the true Marvin Harrison coming through.
But I guess that this isn’t bad news to everyone. I hear Burt Reynolds’ team needs a new wide out.
2 comments:
This was a great post! It was clever and funny and straight to the point! I hadn't heard this about him! I can't believe he could do that! But then again, nothing can surprise us anymore after all the crazy things that famous people do!
Darn those evil Marvin Harrison look-a-likes! What is he paying them? They are always getting him in trouble… And all he wants to do is be able to spend a quiet evening at home, but that never seems to happen. So why is it that he only gets in trouble when he sends out the look-a-like? Maybe it’s the aliens doing it. It has to be them behind it all. Marvin hasn’t done anything thing wrong, those aliens just can’t stand that humans worship a sports star, like Marvin Harrison, over them. Well I will have a serious talk with those aliens when we have our annual sit down, later this year, don’t you worry. I will settle all of this Marvin, just hang in there.
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